Stupid Ideas
by Spike is mine
Summary: Set after "Lies Your Parents Told." Spike and Andrew are enjoying some mindless chitchat in the basement. What will Spike do when he finds out Andrew is sure that he'll die a virgin? Slash! You've been warned. Spandrew.
1. Chapter 1

Spike was surprised that Andrew was sitting with him, and not being annoying. He was actually enjoying the boy's company at the moment.

"I like Jason, Freddy is too ridiculous," Andrew voiced. "If they had a Freddy versus Jason movie, Jason would win.

Spike shook his head. "No, I've seen demons like Freddy, they aren't easily killed. Freddy would win."

"Jason doesn't sleep, so how would Freddy win? And come on, when Freddy was pulled into the real world the first time, a girl beat him."

Spike went to talk, but closed his mouth. "Dammit, you're right."

Andrew beamed as though he won a twelve round boxing match with the vampire.

"Yeah, yuck it up, fuzzball," Spike said, smothering a smile. It had been a long time since he had anyone to have mindless chatter with. It felt good.

"I love Star Wars!" Andrew cried.

Spike rolled his eyes. "I never would have guessed."

Andrew tucked his legs beneath himself and sat facing Spike on the cot. "I think you remind me of a Han like character."

"I do? Do I want to know why?"

"You're a tough guy, who cares about yourself, but secretly cares about others. A former bad guy who's good. A smuggler with a heart of gold!"

Spike whined. "I'm still bad! Just in a quiet way."

Andrew started blathering on about what different heroes Spike reminded him of. There were far too many, and Spike was growing weary of hearing the list. He put his hand on Andrew's shoulder, trying to calm the boy.

Andrew went still and it occurred to Spike that touching may not have been the best idea. In fact, it seemed like a stupid one.

"I uh, I get it. I'm cool. Thanks, mate," Spike said. He wasn't entirely comfortable with the adoring look Andrew was giving him. Maybe getting the boy drunk had been a stupid idea as well.

Andrew's gaze kept dropping to Spike's lips, and Spike realized that he was still touching the boy's shoulder. Another stupid idea.

Andrew stared down at his hands and whispered something in a small voice. Spike didn't catch what.

Spike resigned himself to another stupid idea, and asked Andrew what he said.

"I said... I'm going to die a virgin."

That hadn't been what Spike expected to hear. "What makes you say that, whelp?" How many stupid ideas was he at?

"Because I'm not going to make it through this battle. I've never even kissed a... I've never even been true to who I am."

Spike scrubbed his hands over his face. Make it six stupid things. "Dying a virgin isn't horrible... I did." Spike huffed. He didn't like sharing his past. "Listen, we could... go find you a nice girl, you know. You don't have to die a virgin."

Andrew tucked his hair behind his ear, and stubbornly refused to look at Spike. "But I don't like girls. I- I'm g- ga- I'm ga-" he couldn't finish his sentence. The words stuck in his throat.

Spike considered his alcohol intake. It was nearly four times as much as Andrew, but was that enough to justify his next stupid idea? Hell, why not.

"You're gay. Be proud, mate. There's nothing to be ashamed of. Men can be mighty nice company."

Andrew stared at Spike with wide eyes. "Yo- you mean you've been... with men?" he squeaked.

Spike chuckled. "Yeah, why not? If it feels good, do it. There have been some pretty boys in my past. My grandsire for one."

"Wow." Andrew frowned. "I'm still going to die without ever knowing what it's like to kiss a... man."

Spike sighed. Might as well, since stupid was the night's theme. He cupped Andrew's cheek with one hand, and leaned over to kiss him. His lips met Andrew's softly, and stayed until the hesitancy left the boy's actions. Spike sat back and picked up the bourbon bottle beside the cot.

"There, one problem taken care of," Spike said before taking a long sip of the warm, brown liquid.

Andrew took the bottle from Spike and drank as much as he could stomach. Spike had the sneaky feeling that Andrew was fortifying himself for something.

Spike was taken by surprise, though not completely, when Andrew set the bottle down and jumped on him. Perhaps it was a stupid idea to kiss the boy and supply him with alcohol in the first place.

Spike was surprised further by himself. He hadn't been intimate with a man in so long, it actually made him hard to have Andrew kissing him. He laced his fingers through Andrew's hair and wrapped one arm around his back, holding him flush against his body.

Andrew cupped Spike's face as their tongues tangled. He had such a crush on the vampire. He couldn't believe that he was his first kiss.

Spike didn't know whether it was because he felt sorry for the kid, or if the alcohol made him crave the closeness offered by a sexual encounter, but he was ready to do the stupidest thing yet.

Spike ran his hands under Andrew's shirt, pulling it off and tossing it aside. Andrew wasn't muscular, but it was masculine body above him. Spike rolled the boy onto his back and hovered over him, his lips teasing down his bare chest.

Andrew arched into Spike's touch. He was a virgin, barely used to holding hands, and Spike... Spike wasn't a virgin.

Spike stripped off his own shirt, his ego boosted by the look of awe on the boy's face. He dipped his head and traced one of Andrew's nipples, biting softly. The boy jumped and moaned beneath the vampire.

"Luv, I can take care of your little problem," Spike said as he caressed Andrew's hard on through the jeans. "Is that what you want? I could take your virginity, but you've got to tell me what you want."

Andrew whimpered and raise his hips in search of the beautiful friction that could bring upon his release. "Please, Spike," he whispered, "I want you. I want you to take my virginity."

Spike didn't know if either would regret everything in the morning, but morning was so far off. The now mattered. He wanted Andrew now. He didn't care about later. Future Spike could worry a that.

Spike made short work of Andrew's belt, and soon released Andrew's shaft from its prison. He kissed down his body, stopping at the prize.

Andrew's eyes widened when Spike took him into his mouth. He took him into his throat and swallowed. Andrew had never felt anything near that amazing. He couldn't hold back, but before he could cum Spike squeezed the base of his length, staving off the orgasm momentarily.

"Gotta last, pet," Spike whispered, his fingers massage Andrew's balls. "Stay here."

Andrew could move if he was paid. He was nervous and dying for more of Spike's magical touch. He didn't know what to do, or how to behave. He knew, though, that Spike would show him the way.

Spike grabbed the bottle of cream one of the Slayer girls had left down there. It wasn't K-Y lube, but it would do. Spike went back to Andrew and warmed the cream in his hands.

"Are you sure you want this, pet?" Spike asked softly.

Andrew nodded. Spike was so sweet and caring, nothing like he would have thought the vampire would be like. He couldn't believe he was going to lose his virginity, but he was glad it was with Spike.

Spike rubbed his thumb against the tight circle of muscles, pushing a little harder with ever time around. He wanted to make Andrew's first time pleasurable.

Andrew felt Spike's index finger invade, and felt uncomfortable for a minute, and again as another finger was added. But Spike stroked something inside. I place that sent jolts of pleasure throughout his body.

Spike spread a liberal amount of the cream on his own shaft when he was satisfied that Andrew was well enough prepared. He settled between the boy's thighs, kissing him.

"You ready, luv?" Spike nipped his Adams Apple.

Andrew moaned. "Please, Spike..."

Spike pushed in, inch by beautiful inch, until he was fully seated. Andrew was so hot, and tight. It felt so good to be so close to another person. Especially someone who practically worshiped him.

He stoked his face and kissed him as he began to move. The boy was already so close. That was a good thing. Spike was ready to explode. Too much alcohol, too much time since the last time he had been with anyone.

Andrew gripped Spike's shoulders. Each thrust hit his prostate and sent him closer to the end.

Spike wrapped his hand around Andrew's shaft and moved in time with the gentle pace he was keeping up.

Andrew couldn't hold back. He shot his load, covering Spike's stomach with his spendings.

Spike followed him over the edge and moved, moan Andrew's name until he started to soften.

Andrew smiled a goofy smile and looked at Spike. "Wow," he whispered.

Spike was ready to send the boy onto his way, but when Andrew wrapped his arms around him and rested his head on his chest, well Spike was powerless to do anything but hold him. He didn't have the heart to send him away.

Andrew nuzzled Spike's chest. "Thank you," he murmured.

Spike ran his fingers through Andrew's hair. It was a stupid thing to stay like this. They were going to get caught. But a part of him didn't care. Not yet. He was content to let Andrew bask in the after glow of what he's lost.

The door to the basement opened and Faith started down. She stopped when she saw the two.

"Either of you two see a bottle of cream, one of the potentials is going nuts."

Spike grinned. "Afraid I was forced to confiscate it."

Faith snorted. "Great. You get to by the baby slayer a new one." Without a comment about the position she found them in, Faith left the basement and closed the door.

Spike went to say something to Andrew, but the door reopened and Faith stuck her head in. "By the by, if you're giving end of the world screws, I wanna know where the line is." She disappeared back into the house.

Spike laughed and relaxed. He felt better than he had in a while. Acting stupidly had its advantages.


	2. Chapter 2

Spike had decided to stay behind in Rome while Angel flew back to L.A. to deal with the head problem.

He agonized over what to do, pacing and thinking outside of the Buffy's apartment. He finally made his decision.

He knocked on the door of Buffy's apartment. He had to see her, despite the fear it stuck in his heart. He ran his fingers through his hair as he waited. She deserved to know he was alive. He deserved to have her know he was alive.

Andrew opened the door and sighed. "Where's the other one? I assume he can't let go either."

Spike mumbled irritably, "He left. Just me."

"If you want to see her, you'll have to wait until tomorrow. She called to say she's spending the night at the Immortal's."

Spike growled and pushed pass Andrew. "Why would she pick him? Out of all the men, why the bloody hell did it have to be him!?"

Andrew dropped onto the couch. "Would you really be happy if it were some other guy? It still wouldn't be you."

Spike glared venomously at the boy, but the truth of his words couldn't be denied. "Shut up."

Spike slumped down beside him. "I tried to convince myself that it wasn't true what she said. That she only said it because I was dying. I tried, but... I couldn't help but think maybe... you know? Maybe she really loved me. Stupid, right? I don't deserve her."

Andrew rubbed Spike's shoulder. "Did you ever think that maybe she doesn't deserve you?"

Spike glanced at him sidelong. "How do you figure that?"

"You're a dashing, handsome, hero. You got your soul for her, and gave your life for her. You deserve someone who sees that, and not your past."

Spike tilted his head, and smiled crookedly at Andrew. "You think I'm a hero?"

"Cooler than Batman or Doctor Who."

"Thanks, but I'm no hero. Just a demon. Hell awaits me, and nothing will change that."

"Buffy still doesn't deserve you."

Spike chuckled and leaned back against the couch. "Even if that's so, it hurts not having her." Spike closed his eyes.

Andrew ran his fingers through Spike's hair, freezing when he realized what he was doing.

"Don't stop," Spike murmured, leaning into Andrew's warm hand.

Andrew continue to brush his fingers through Spike's hair.

Spike craved the simple show of affection after being so long without it. He found himself slipping into a light sleep, Andrew's touch never leaving.

Andrew bit his lip as he gazed at Spike's face. He looked sweet when he slept. Andrew remembered that. He remembered that he could be sweet, and gentle.

Andrew leaned over and brushed his lips over Spike's cheek. He knew that Spike would kill him for that. Their one time had been just that. One time. As much as Andrew wished it was different.

"You are a hero. To me you are," Andrew whispered.

Spike shifted in his sleep and leaned against Andrew, nuzzling into his chest.

Andrew kissed the top of his head. "My sweet hero."

"Trying to molest Spike in his sleep?" Buffy asked as she closed the front door quietly.

Andrew stared at her with wide eyed fear. "No!" he whispered loudly.

"Chill, I was joking... mostly."

"Why aren't you surprised about Spike being alive?"

"I've known about it for a while."

Andrew squinted. "Why didn't you go see him?"

Buffy sighed. "I moved on. I was hoping he would too. Leave it to Spike to do what I don't want him to. I'm going to bed. Night, Andrew."

He watched her disappear into her room. "You really don't deserve him."

Spike mumbled in his sleep and moved closer to the heat Andrew's warm body afforded him.

Andrew wrapped his arms around Spike and let him burrow in close. "Sleep well, Spike."


	3. Chapter 3

Spike fiddled with his tie. He felt entirely too uncomfortable. He looked around the restaurant, searching for his date's face among the throngs of people. Was it uncomfortably hot? He felt hot. Which was strange because he had no temperature.

"Wine?" the snooty Italian waiter asked, holding the bottle he had ordered.

"Hmm? Oh, yes, please." Spike nodded towards his glass.

Spike peered through the crowd again. Was he early, or was his date late? And were all restaurants so uncomfortable?

He couldn't imagine why he was so nervous. They'd had sex before. They hung out and talked constantly. They were friends. So why did the idea of a blasted dinner in a fancy restaurant make him so uncomfortable?

He pictured the night before. They were hanging at his hotel -hotel because he refused to admit he didn't plan on leaving if he was leaving alone-, they were watching some old black and white movies. A normal night, with alcohol, popcorn and thrilling arguments over the film. It was great, until he opened his big, stupid yap and asked for a date. He'd been so lame, and halting in the proposal that he was certain he'd die of embarrassment before hearing the answer. He almost hoped for a "no" so he could pass it off as a joke and that would be that. But of course it was an eager affirmative. And now here he sat, uncomfortable, studying the guests in search of his bloody date. What a stupid idea.

"Sorry I'm late," he heard behind him.

His mood improved substantially when Andrew came into sight.

"You're the one who'll have to deal with a drunk vampire," Spike said tip his glass in greetings. "Working on my second bottle."

"Spike, I wasn't that late," Andrew whined. "You drink way too fast."

"And you drive way too slow. Bad combination."

Andrew rolled his eyes, but couldn't help but smile.

"Did you order?"

"Just the wine. Figured I'd wait for you. This is the restaurant you picked out, so I thought you might have insight into what tastes best."

Andrew grinned, proud as a peacock. "Yeah, I can help you pick the right meal."

The waiter poured Andrew a glass of wine.

"The linguine with clam sauce is renowned. Oh, and shrimp fra diavolo is delicious."

Spike smirked crookedly. "Brother devil? What kind of meal is that?"

"A hot one."

"Sounds promising. What are you getting?" Spike sipped his wine.

"Don't know. Probably spaghetti."

Spike sputtered indignantly, choking on his drink. "What do you mean spaghetti? What about the dishes you mentioned? What about the shrimp one?"

"Too spicy for me."

"And the other one?"

"Too clammy."

Spike pursed his lips. "With all these elaborate meals, you're choosing something I could have cooked for you?"

"Umm, yeah? I like spaghetti."

The waiter came over, pestering them for their orders.

"I'll have the shrimp fra diavolo, and he will have... spaghetti."

"Excellent choices," the waiter said curtly, and walked away with their menus.

"So..." Andrew said awkwardly.

"So..." Spike answered.

"Our Italian waiter is acting kinda French."

Spike laughed. "He is rather rude, isn't he?"

"Rude doesn't cover it," Andrew whispered.

Spike searched his mind for a topic. It was so easy to talk at home. "This is ridiculous. I'm not supposed to act like teenager at a drive-in movie."

"When's the last time you went on a date, the fifties? They don't even have drive-in movies anymore."

Spike pursed his lips. "That's not the point. But actually, I haven't been on a real date since the eighties. Took Dru to a concert."

"Did you end up eating someone?" Andrew asked skeptically.

"Um, yes? Why?"

"Dates don't involve murder, so that doesn't count."

"But dates involve dinner, so it does count."

Andrew opened his mouth, but closed it. "You're gross."

Spike smirked. "Oh?" he rubbed his leg up against Andrew's. "Is that so?" He dropped his cloth napkin. "I'm also evil, you know." He leaned down under the pretense of picking up his napkin.

Andrew stiffened, biting back a moan as Spike's hand fondled him through his trousers. He tried to inconspicuously shoo the hand away, but Spike was persistent.

"Spike," Andrew choked, "please, not here."

Spike reluctantly grabbed his napkin and sat back up. "Have anymore complaints about my dating skills?"

"No. Nuh-uh. None. Zip. Zilch. Nein."

"That's what I thought."

Their waiter brought their meals, and the next several minute were spent in a comfortable silence as they ate, and drank.

"You know," Andrew said, "most dates have both dinner and a show."

Spike groaned. "I already told you I'm not taking you to that stupid Hobbit film."

"But you said you liked the book," Andrew wined.

"And they turned one good book into three boring movies."

"They aren't boring! They're awesome."

"Boring. Go see it yourself."

"But if I go alone I'll look like a dork."

Spike rolled his eyes. "Pet, that trekkie t-shirt of yours already did that."

Andrew stuck his bottom lip out. "I want to see it."

"I'm not saying you can't."

"I want to see it with you."

"No. I'm not going to sit through that sixteen hour movie," Spike said firmly.

"If you cared about me you would."

Spike's features softened. "You know I care about you."

"Not enough to do things I like."

"I watch Doctor Who."

"You like Doctor Who."

"I watched your marathon of those blasted Lord of the Rings movies. I don't like those."

"Yeah, but you didn't watch them. You annoyed me the whole time so I couldn't watch them."

"So now my kissin' and touchin' you is annoying?"

"You know what I mean!"

"Shh, Andrew people are lookin'," Spike hissed softly.

"I don't care. You aren't listening to me. You never do. We always do what you want, and go where you want, and talk about what you want. If I want anything it's too stupid, or nerdy for you. Why do you even want to be with me?"

Spike would have paled if he could. His lips moved without sound. Finally he said the first thing that came to mind.

"You pick the restaurant."

"After you vetoed my first four choices!" Andrew stood fast enough you knock his chair back.

"Where are you going?"

"To see my stupid, boring movie. I figure it's a sure fire way to get away from you for sixteen hours," Andrew snapped and walked away.

Spike stared after him in shock. "What the fuck just happened?" he muttered to himself.

He thought Andrew was happy. Where did that outburst come from? He thought they had fun together.

The waiter came with the check. "I suggest you pay and leave. And preferably don't come back with crazy dates."

Spike glared at the waiter, wishing more than ever he didn't have a soul so he could rip the bugger's throat out.

"You don't get many tips, do you?" Spike handed over the expense card Angel gave him as a bribe to stay out of his hair.

Without a word the waiter left with the card and bill.

Spike was out of the restaurants five minutes later, vowing never to return. The valet brought his car around and after a nice tip, told him where the nearest theater was.

He made it there in record time, but was stuck in a line from hell. Forty people long, with kids running and screaming, mothers hushing, fathers threatening, teens arguing or flirting with each other and street performers asking for money. By the time he made it to the ticket counter he was ready to kill someone.

"One ticket to the current playing of the Hobbit movie."

The ticket person eyed his suit suspiciously. "Imax or 3D?"

"I don't care. Whichever is on first."

"They're both on."

"3D then."

She clicked some buttons. "We're sold out."

"Then Imax!"

She huffed, "I don't appreciate your attitude."

Spike growled and she typed a few buttons again.

"Sold out."

"Then give me a ticket for the next showing," he said through clenched teeth.

"That's not for another four hours."

Spike wished fervently that he could vault the counter and tear the bitch limb from limb.

"Can I buy one now?"

"Yes bu-"

He interrupted her."Can I enter this blasted theater four hours prior to my movie starting?"

"Of course bu-"

"Then give me the god damn ticket!"

"Fine! Geeze. Psycho much?"

Spike snarled and the girl quickly took his money and issued his ticket.

Spike found where the 3D version was currently playing, and entered. He groaned at the sea of people. How would he ever find Andrew? He couldn't catch his scent through all of these other overwhelming smells. It would take forever to find him if he tried to look.

"Screw it."

He walked to the front of the auditorium and stood in front of the screen.

"Andrew!" he yelled. He could barely be heard over the cacophony of the film and the cries of irritation from the movie goers. "Pet please, if you're here, come to me! I need to talk to you,"

A minute ticked by, and an usher came in to drag Spike out.

Spike pushed the guy off and ran out to the Imax showing. He repeated the same announcement in front of that showing, and three ushers came to drag him out.

He yelled the entire way out of the theater, and was thrown out unceremoniously on his ass. He was warned not to come back.

Frustrated and angry he returned back to his hotel.

He threw his keys on a small table by the door, and slipped out of his coat. He was working on his tie when he came into his living room.

"Gosh it's about time you came back," Andrew said from his spot on the couch.

Spike's eyes widened. "What? Why? When? I mean, I thought you were at the movies."

"I was going to, but I felt bad, so I came here to wait for you. I thought you'd be home sooner. Where were you?"

Spike stepped over to Andrew and pulled him off the couch. "I went to the blasted theater to find you. Got kicked out for disrupting two showings of the bloody Hobbit movie."

Andrew frowned, looking at Spike's agitated expression. "Um, why?"

Spike made a frustrated whining sound. "Because I wanted to find you!"

Spike pressed his lips against Andrew's. His hands fell from his shoulders to wrap around his waist.

Andrew melted into the kiss, putting his arms around Spike's neck.

Spike pressed his forehead against Andrew's as the kiss tapered off.

"I'm sorry. We can do what you want. We can go see the movie. We can do whatever makes you happy. I don't want to lose you. I never want that. I care too much about you. I do. I'm so sorry you thought I didn't."

Andrew ran his fingers through the hair at Spike's nape.

"It's not about the movie, Spike. I've... I've felt this way for a while."

"What? Why? I mean, what have I done? I can fix it."

"No Spike, you can't. Do you remember the night we ... The night after you found out about Buffy and the Immortal?"

Spike furrowed his brow. "Of course I remember."

"You were hurt, and lonely so you took up with me. I was there, I want you, I was convenient. I knew it then, I did it anyway, even though I knew this would happen."

"What's happening? Nothing is happening. Andrew what the hell are you taking about?"

Andrew stepped back. "I can't take it anymore, Spike. I know you love Buffy, I know why you're with me. I shouldn't have let it come this far."

"Buffy? This is about Buffy? Andrew, no. Don't let her come between us. I don't want to be with her. It's over with her. She doesn't want me, she doesn't love me. We're not even friends. Don't. Just, don't let her break us up."

"Spike, if she came in here right now and told you she wanted you, you wouldn't remember my name. You'd leap at another chance with her."

Spike took Andrew's hand. "Pet, I've been convenient. I know how it feels. I would never do that to you."

Spike tugged Andrew against his chest. He kissed his forehead. "I care about you. I enjoy spending time with you. I look foreword to talking to you. I anticipate making love to you. Believe it or not this is the most stable relationship I've been in."

Andrew didn't protest when Spike pushed his jacket off, or when he removed his tie. His own hands found Spike's shirt buttons.

Spike let Andrew remove his shirt button by button, resisting the urge to tear both their clothes off. Instead he set to undoing Andrew's shirt.

Andrew whimpered as Spike's lips explored his neck and chest. He cried out when Spike's hand slipped into his pants.

"I want you, pet. I need you," Spike whispered as he led Andrew to his bedroom.

Andrew had forgotten how good Spike's black satin sheets felt against his skin. Half the time they didn't make it to the bed, and the other half it was Andrew's bed they made it to. His Star Wars bed spread wasn't nearly as nice.

Spike unlaced Andrew's shoes as he kissed up his cotton clad thighs. He slipped them, and his socks off before moving to his belt.

"Wanna show you how I feel. Wanna prove how much I want you. Just you," Spike said as he pulled Andrew's pants and boxers off in one fluid motion.

"Spike," Andrew moaned. Spike kissed up his painfully hard length, causing him to squirm and babble.

Spike crawled up Andrew, capturing his lips with his own. He reached into his bedside table, taking out a bottle of lubricant.

Andrew mewled as Spike licked and nipped his nipple. He felt Spike's hand between his thighs, and relaxed his muscles. He gripped Spike's shoulders when one long finger pressed into him. He moved his hips against Spike's hand, crying for more.

Spike added another finger, and another still, preparing Andrew as well as he could. He peppered kisses against his face and he removed his hand.

Andrew lost himself in Spike's eyes as he felt him press into him. He wrapped his legs around him.

"Spike, oh god, Spike."

Spike nuzzled into Andrew's neck, thrusting slowly into him. He moved to the rhythm of Andrew's thudding pulse.

Andrew held onto him tightly. He wasn't sure what tomorrow held, but he couldn't think about that. Now Spike was his. That was what mattered.


End file.
